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on resistance

TODAY I AM reminded of what I believe is yet another key toward my goal to re-wire my brain. Part of the re-wiring process is to identify how I am already wired, and that takes observing the programs that run on automatic. One of my programs is Resistance.

When it comes to health issues, I see how much I tend to "push against" the aches, pains, and other unpleasant and unwanted symptoms. My automatics range from "this shouldn't be happening" to "I need to fight against this" to "poor me" and everything in between. Resistance.

Resistance doesn't work, so they say, and it sure hasn't done anything to improve my situation. So what if I accepted the pain instead? What if I accepted the illness? Surrendered to it, embraced it, allowed it to be there, showered Love all over it?

Why not? Yeah ...

~ Copyright Kathleen M. Diehl 2009

wanting vs. having

THE ABRAHAM TEACHINGS speak a great deal about "wanting." Yet I believe this to be an unfortunate choice of words amidst an otherwise powerful message. "Wanting," by definition, equates to "not having." For if we had that which we wanted, we would not be in a position of wanting it.

This dilemma has been brought to my attention through various sources, including the Conversations With God books and more recently through The Sedona Method. Hale Dwoskin, author of the best-selling book by that name, asks the question, "Would you rather want security/control/approval (etc.), or would you rather have it?" He teaches that in order to get to the point of having something, we must let go of (release) the wanting of it.

To me, this makes all the sense in the world, and is another illustration of why affirmations often fail to work. For example, if I am experiencing financial lack and its resulting fears, I am likely wanting money. I may be stating affirmations such as "I am wealthy" or "I am abundant" yet what I am feeling, in my core, is the lack of that. Therefore, in my affirmations I am affirming my vibrational alignment with lack, unwittingly creating the exact opposite of what I want.

The ego operates under the false assumption that to let go of wanting something (for example, for me to let go of wanting perfect health) equates to never having it. The ego sees the act of letting go as resigning, giving up hope, etc. Yet if you have studied the Law of Attraction principles you are familiar with the importance of being unattached to outcomes.

Desperately wanting something is the same thing as being attached. It is that very wanting/attachment that keeps what we want away from us - energetically. Letting go of wanting something opens up the energy for receiving/having it. Hale calls this being "hootless" (you don't give a hoot whether you get it or not).

And isn't this what we are actually observing in our own lives? That when we let go of something, that's when it shows up? The relationship, the money, the pregnancy, whatever it is.

It feels better, too.

~ Copyright Kathleen M. Diehl 2009

do your goals remain un-met?

IN 2008, I participated in two 45-day rounds of the "Boundless Living Challenge" hosted by Law of Attraction teacher Bob Doyle, founder of the Wealth Beyond Reason program and featured in the film, "The Secret." The idea of the Challenge was to create an on-line community in which each participant would choose one goal for themselves that they intended to achieve within the 45-day time frame. Members would then support one another in the community as well as hold themselves accountable by blogging about their progress on a regular basis.

The goal could be anything - ideally, something that the person felt blocked about in one way or another. Common goals included increasing income, attracting new clients, starting a business, losing weight, sticking to an exercise program, or finishing a project of some kind. Slightly less common were goals such as keeping a gratitude journal, overcoming guilt, being more organized, or practicing daily meditation.

Here's what I observed. Of the thousands of participants, about half would become inactive within the first few weeks. Of the remaining half, about three-fourths would dwindle out of participation little by little over the remaining 45 days. And for the few who stuck with it, while most made some progress or, at the very least, achieved the precious gains of inner awareness, very few actually achieved their goal as stated. Sound familiar? New Years resolutions scenarios anyone?

True, lasting change is rare. First, it can only come from the inside out - not the other way around. It isn't about finding the magical plan or product that will "change your life in 30 days or your money back." True change begins when we finally recognize the subconscious programs that have been running on automatic, sabotaging our every effort to succeed. True change progresses when we are brave enough to to look honestly at what we are really thinking, feeling and being every day, and then eliminate the resistance patterns that come in so many disguises. True change happens when we learn to love who we are, just as we are, no matter what anyone else thinks.

If you have "tried everything" when it comes to meeting your goal, only to find yourself spiraling back to your old patterns again and again, please read the free articles here in my blog.

~ Copyright Kathleen M. Diehl 2009

seek ye first

HAVING OBSERVED THAT people rarely meet the goals they set for themselves, as an awareness-based life coach my focus is on helping my clients discover why that is. It certainly isn't for lack of wanting the outcome. The overweight individual wants to be thin, the financially struggling individual wants to be wealthy, the individual living with chronic illness wants to be well, the depressed individual wants to be happy.

While there are certainly several goals I have in mind for my own life, and I do find value in clearly identifying what they are and taking inspired action toward meeting them, I keep hearing these words in my head again and again: "Seek ye first!"

Seek ye first. My interpretation is as follows: The quickest path to wherever it is you want to be is not by seeking all these external things directly (money, success, health, etc.), but by going inside and seeking the Source from which you came, which never leaves you, and will never cease to be. Seek an experiential relationship with that, first. Once this is established, "all these things will be added unto you" - often effortlessly.

So I had to ask myself, what keeps humans from experiencing this divine connection all the time? Why do we experience it here and there, and then go back into feeling separate - back into fear and striving? The answer: Our life experiences have not wired our brains for joy, for feeling safe, for peace or for presence. On the contrary, our life experiences typically wire our brains for sabotaging anything that upsets the status quo of the programs that have been running on automatic in our subconscious minds, and their resulting brain chemical addictions.

You see this everywhere you look. People creating drama and suffering, people repeating the same patterns over and over again despite their overwhelming desire to "change." This is why I chose to be an inner awareness-based coach, as opposed to an outer motivational or goal-setting coach.

Law of Attraction states that in order to create or manifest what we desire, we must be a vibrational match. We are not a vibrational match to anything good when we are in and out of depression, self-doubt, overwhelm, and fear-based thinking, doing and being. Seek ye FIRST. Until or unless we re-wire and re-program the brain through awareness and releasing techniques, we'll continue to run on our respective hamster wheels.

~ Copyright Kathleen M. Diehl 2009

procrastinator: master escape artist

IF YOU OFTEN observe yourself putting off something you have been meaning to do, despite all your best intentions, you can be sure there's a subconscious program of resistance running the show. As a procrastinator, you are like a master escape artist when it comes to living the life you truly desire.

An important aspect of my own spiritual journey includes a willingness to be 100% honest with myself - about how I'm living my life and why. That means I'm the first to be in my own face about packaging the various things I do (or don't do) into cute little boxes with fancy ribbons (excuses) that look nice on the outside but are filled with stuffed emotions on the inside.

Some self-help books suggest that if you are procrastinating something, it means that you really don't want to do it. In my experience, this is not always the case. The thing you procrastinate most may well be something you strongly believe would benefit your life in more ways than you can count. There are deeper reasons beyond time management, forgetfulness, laziness and tiredness as to why you are repeating the same pattern again and again.

Once you discover the hidden reasons behind your avoidances, you give yourself the gift of awareness. Awareness is the foundation upon which you begin to reclaim your personal power. With awareness, your perception shifts, and you begin to see the world differently. In the end, you may or may not choose to change your behavior. Either way you will be freed. You will either joyfully do whatever it is you have been putting off, or admit to yourself that you choose not to at this time, releasing yourself from the daily mental anguish of your inner conflict with procrastination.

~ Copyright Kathleen M. Diehl 2009

the potential trap of striving

DO YOU HAVE one or more goals that you, right now, are striving for? It seems everywhere I look, the people in my life are in the same boat. Yet without awareness, striving to meet a goal can be a potential trap.

An unfortunate built-in aspect of striving that I have observed is that sometimes, when we finally do get whatever it is that we think we want/need so badly (the million dollars, the perfect relationship, the goal weight, the dream house), we then create a new discontent around it. We begin to worry. We start holding on to it tightly for fear of losing it again. After all, the stock market can crash, the dream lover can stray, the weight can return, and the dream house can catch fire.

There is nothing wrong with desiring goals or material things - all are wonderful. The question is: what is the energy behind my desire? Is it based on a belief that my problems will be solved and my life will be better "if only" (fill-in-the-blank) were different? Have I become so future-focused that I'm missing the only moment I truly have - the Now?

Whatever your goal, keep in mind that there is no magical place at the end of the road that you need to get to before you can start enjoying your life. Striving is simply a desire for expansion, and expansion is a never-ending process. Since we are all divine creators, new desires will always in the making. Whatever it is you might be choosing to create next, don't forget to keep yourself anchored in the one thing that can never be lost, stolen, faded or forgotten - your eternal Self.

~ Copyright Kathleen M. Diehl 2009

ego - you're fired!

THE EGO TAKES its job of self-preservation very seriously. It never stops talking. It pretends to be you. It is a serious drama addict. The ego is the tape recorder that auto-starts as soon as the morning alarm goes off, briefing you immediately about the status quo so that you can repeatedly play out the identity it has placed upon you.

That's right. Ego is that constant companion you never asked for, that energy vampire that leaves you exhausted, that annoying fly on your plate of food. It is the little voice that you identify with as "my thoughts" - telling you lies, keeping you in fear and limitation, and measuring you up to the status quo.

You know, if I had a real-life human friend living with me who did all that, I'd kick her out of my house, take away her key, and put a restraining order on her. Seriously.

The ego feeds off the energy of past and future, and has tremendous resistance to the present moment. It knows all there is to know about doing, and nothing about Being. The main dilemma that people face when they choose to sit in silence or meditation, is "my mind won't be quiet." We haven't found the OFF button, and the more we try to force the mind (ego) to be quiet, the louder it gets.

What the ego doesn't want you to know is that you no longer need it for your survival. I invite you to fire your ego, and in its place find stillness, presence and peace. You can talk to your ego, which is very much like a little child or entity, as follows:

Dear Ego, thank you for trying to protect me,

however I no longer welcome your

non-stop running commentary, opinions,

judgments, imagined confrontations, what-ifs,

and fear-based projections.

Nor do I enjoy you playing songs repeatedly in my head.

So you can be quiet now.

Shhh. Thank you.

~ Copyright Kathleen M. Diehl 2009

straddling two realities

THOSE OF US embarking on the spiritual path of awareness often find ourselves feeling like we're straddling two realities.

There's the physical dualistic reality of form and ego - the only reality the majority of the world's population is conscious of. This reality involves much striving to control our personal environment including the need to feel safe, loved, and have our physical needs met. There is fear here, and an attachment to various roles and traits we identify ourselves with (physical attributes, jobs, talents, family, friends, belief systems, preferences, etc.). In this physical dualistic reality, there's an almost frantic urge to "fix" problems, control outcomes and seek fulfillment outside ourselves. True presence gets lost between focusing on an imagined future we want to get to and the memories of the past which are still associated with who you identify yourself to be.

Then there's the non-physical, non-dualistic reality of Love. This is the reality in which we can experience true presence, true peace, true Being-ness. Here, we have mastered the ability to "die to the past," to strip away the veils and layers of illusion, and to find within ourselves all the treasures we used to perceive as missing from our lives. Here we find an inner knowing, an inner calm, a quiet listening and a gentle surrender to All That Is. This is the Oneness - and it is beyond mind, beyond body and beyond ego.

Although more familiar, the physical dualistic reality becomes less and less appealing for who we are and who we are becoming as we advance in spiritual frequency. Yet the transition is not without its challenges. It may involve many a breakdown in old friendships, relationships, career choices, etc. which are no longer fitting the more awakened individual. There can even be a loss of interest in "playing the game" once the veil of illusion is lifted, causing inner conflict and a sense of isolation.

If you can relate to what I describe, congratulations! Please know that you're not alone. Being aware you are on a virtual field playing a role, wearing a mask, and being an actor does not exclude you from keeping one foot firmly planted in the old familiar reality. Now that you are awakened, why not be empowered? Why not have fun with the playing field? Spend time re-defining who you choose to be, knowing that the possibilities are limited only by what you can dream.

the Silence experiment

AS DESCRIBED IN my blogs on ego and meditation, having a mind that won't shut up and be quiet is a common experience. You can test this out for yourself by setting your intention to have a quiet mind, then using the second hand of a clock or watch to see how long you can go without a thought intruding in. Can you maintain a silent mind for sixty seconds? Thirty seconds? Ten? If not, you're not alone.

In 2005 my favorite new mantra was "just Be." I loved the concept of being, yet I didn't know how to actually experience it with any consistency. After all, how do you "do" being? So in the Fall of that year, I decided to take this to a new level. Having noticed that my mind was more quiet when my mouth was quiet, I decided to take a three-day vow of Silence.

For three days I did not utter a word to anyone - not my children, friends, partners or anyone else who crossed my path or tried to call me on the phone. Only a few individuals knew of my intention. The rest had no idea why I wasn't speaking, which of course, was an important aspect of the challenge.

At first, my mental chatter increased. The ego was very concerned about what I was doing, and had quite a few arguments against it. "What's this? You're not talking now? That's not a good idea, you know. What are you going to do when someone speaks to you, just ignore them? You can't do that, what are they going to think? Are you kidding me? This isn't the status quo. Hello!"

By the end of the first day, the ego showed its first signs of surrender. Yet I needed a greater test. On the evening of the second day, I put myself in a social group situation, continuing my Silence despite one final plea from ego to at least explain to the group why I wasn't speaking. Again, I did not. That is when the most amazing and astounding thing happened.

It was as if something cracked, like pure surrender, and I moved into what felt like a whole new dimension - a dimension of bliss, peace, presence and absolute Silence. There was space, a beautiful and vast nothingness. My mind became the observer without a single intrusive thought. I had found a version of heaven on earth. When I got home that evening, I wrote the following:

Silence

you release the need to comment

you release the need to control

you release the need to question

you release the need to clarify

you release the need to justify

you release the need to criticize

you release the need to complain

you release the need to explain

it is incredibly beautiful here ...

not "have to" - love to

IF YOU LISTEN closely to the verbiage people use in their day-to-day conversations, one of the most common repetitions you will find is the "have to" phrase. "I have to get to the gym. I have to make more money. I have to lose weight, finish this project, get my Christmas shopping done, take my medicine, stop drinking, write my book, call my mother, get more sleep, clean the house, drink more water!"

The aware individual knows that there's no such thing as a "have to" in life. There are choices and potential outcomes or consequences to those choices. By using the "have to" verbiage, not only are we avoiding full responsibility for our choices, but on a more practical level, we are sabotaging our goals. Resistance is practically an automatic to any sense of "have to" - whether it is imposed upon us by others or by ourselves.

It is human nature to want to do what you think you can't or shouldn't do, and to resist doing what you think you can or should do. Take a look at the "have to" list in your life and ask yourself if you really want to do any of it. Because if you really wanted to, you would get up and do it. A more truthful wording might be "I'd really love the outcome that doing this would bring."

Next, observe what happens to your resistance if you pretended that you were no longer allowed to do the things you say you want to do? Pretend you aren't allowed to drink pure water anymore, you are only allowed to drink soda. You aren't allowed to eat vegetables, fruits or whole grains, you are forced to eat processed fast food three times a day. All phone access is taken away, and you are not allowed to go out and earn a living because someone or something (perhaps some made-up law) is stopping you. You have even been banned from all gyms within a 100-mile radius of your home. Feel the shift? Feel any rebellion kicking in?

I was listening to a Byron Katie audio program when a woman in the audience complained that she resents that she "has to" take a certain medication to prevent her body from rejecting her recent liver transplant. Byron asked her, "So you have to take this medication - is that true?" With further inquiry and discussion, the woman came to realize that she doesn't "have to" take the medication, she wants to take it because it is saving her life.

We too can go from resentment to gratitude with a simple change in perception. All our "have to's" can become "I'd love to's!"